i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize