the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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