I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize