I hate all girls vehemently.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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