Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize