i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
