batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
