Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
