He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
