Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Randomize
