So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
