WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Mom said you looked used
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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