im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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