She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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