Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
