I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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