Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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