that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
