And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
