Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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