Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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