Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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