That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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