I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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