Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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