Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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