It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
