BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
