when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
