belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
