I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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