I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
