bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
