he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
