i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
