sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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