I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
