she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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