The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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