plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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