Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
