just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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