Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
