Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
