Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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