How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
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Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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