I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
only if we run a train.
done.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
