Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
