I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
