just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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