i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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