she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
