if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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