and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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