is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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