This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
