how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize