Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
