I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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