I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
