I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
